”The Conversation Starter you have been looking for.”
Ladies, now that you have lived/existed and survived long enough to have reached Boomer status, you get a bonus that will last the rest of your life.
The bonus comes in the form of an assumption that you are a fixer, a handler, the go to person for handling all the challenges Mom/Dad’s Infirmities Of Aging give birth to.
After all you are a member of the Gender that Tenders.
You are expected to know all and be able to do all, just as Mom/Dad would do if only the Infirmities Of Aging had not suddenly appeared out of nowhere and taken away their ability to do so for themselves.
Your parents expect this of you and certainly your siblings do as well. Your siblings would help, but you see, they are very busy.
My book contains some good news and a lot of bad news for you. This news concerns what has been happening to cause your “Sisters in Tending” to step up to the plate, and care for Mom/Dad in their “Golden Years”.
I’m being careful when I write “some good news”, as I do not want to over promise and under deliver. As boomers we have lived long enough to have experienced enough hype to last a couple life times.
Within my book and my blog there are exhibits documenting the dark side of human nature.
1.) F.A.T.E. ,The targeting the Elderly for theft.
2.) The experiencing/dealing with the Infirmities Of Aging.
3.) The Final Exit. The subject of Death and Dying.
These matters are in fact hard to embrace, yet all three are/should be priority subjects for you to be well-versed in.
I write about how important it is to protect your family from theft, how important it is to be prepared for the onset of the Infirmities Of Aging, the dying process, and death.
Here is some irony for you.
Who was it, that early in your life pointed out to you the wisdom of looking down the road and making plans for your life?
Was It Mom/Dad? , Sure it was.
We have all been instructed to map out our entire life.
Make plans for:
6.) And the big one, The RETIREMENT Plan to fund the Golden Years.
Take another look at the list, what “Plan” is missing?
Let me help you, the Plan starts with the issuance of a Birth Certificate.
If you take a look at your Birth Certificate you will see the date and location you entered this world. No new news there, but did you know there is also an “Expiration date and Location”?
Sure there is… At least I’m almost certain it is there, look again , It may be located on the back of your Birth Certificate, in real tiny print; you will need ”Your Readers” to see it.
But more importantly, I’m of the understanding that this expiration of life is strictly enforced. None of us get out of here alive, 100 percent of us are going to die…
However, there is a possibility of some wiggle room for when, how and where we take the Final Exit.
But you need a ”Final Exit Plan” to take advantage of that wiggle room. You need to keep your readers on so as to see clearly as I explain.
I will first explain what I see as the value of my book and then what is in it for you.
I can introduce the value of my book with just 8 words.
I’ve written an Ice Breaker, a Conversation starter.
No, no , I’m not talking about the conversation where you are telling Mom/Dad to lock their doors and not to talk to strangers conversation.
I’m talking about a tool for you to use to justify and initiate a “Conversation “that opens up communications /understanding on a much dreaded and avoided topic.
That subject being the preparing/planning for the events and circumstances that surface during the last year or so at the end of Mom/Dad’s life.
These conditions are brought on by the impact of the ”Infirmities Of Aging”. This talk is what I call “Final Exit Planning “.
The Infirmities Of Aging are the biggest and by far the most dangerous thief the elderly have to fear and deal with.
My book is intended to make you aware of the dangerous environment, and the dangerous time of their rapidly vanishing life your Mom/Dad now live in.
As we age we lose the pep in our step, some more rapidly than others. Once again, that fact is not new news.
It is these Infirmities Of Aging that make Mom/Dad not only easy targets but attractive targets for theft.
There is no hiding Mom/Dad’s infirmities. These infirmities are like a magnet drawing in the perpetrators.
Not just or only the common street criminal types, I’m talking about perpetrators that gain access to Mom/Dad because they come from all walks of life and work in all professions. Yes , ” all Professions .”
I use the exhibits (criminal cases) in my book to demonstrate this point. Exhibits also show these crimes are not just committed for big ticket paydays from the wealthy.
But also are committed mostly for ”Chump Change Paydays” from the elderly members of all economic and social backgrounds.
Once again, I demonstrate these victims include the richest and the poorest of the Elderly population.
For Example, in one of my exhibits an elderly man and his wife had their lives viciously snatched out of their bodies during the commission of a burglary to their home.
The crime scene was so blood soaked it took a team of Crime Scene Investigators days to process and collect the evidence.
The scene within their home was so horrific; the thief himself after viewing his handy work with a long bladed knife had to raid the elderly couple’s refrigerator to get a swig of milk out of a milk jug to settle his own stomach.
How do I know that?
His DNA was recovered from the mouth of the milk jug, which the Killer had put back into the refrigerator minus the cap. An alert and dedicated Crime Scene Investigator zeroed in on what looked out of place in the refrigerator.
When confronted with the fact that his DNA was recovered from the mouth of the milk jug, he confessed he needed the milk to settle his stomach.
In this exhibit the killer’s Payday consisted of aStereo, a Vacuum Cleaner and a broken Timex Watch.
No hype here ladies. In my best attempt at a Detective Sergeant Joe Friday impersonation “Just the facts , Ma’am…”
In each of these exhibits within my book there has been an Investigation, Prosecution and a Judge has adjudicated the perpetrator Guilty.
I also include the jurisdictions and case numbers for each exhibit. I do this because I suspect that some of the facts and circumstances make no sense and may be hard to accept as real by many of you ladies.
I lived/performed in a world where ” Beyond a reasonable doubt ” is the standard for acceptance.
Your acceptance of my message is something I care about and is very important to me. So if you should feel the need to ”Trust, But Verify ”, I make it easy for you to look up these criminal cases and see for yourself.
Armed with that understanding you hopefully will be motivated to have “The Conversation” with Mom/Dad, Followed up by the establishment of a legal /documented Final Exit Plan. One that Mom/Dad dictated the terms of while they still had the mental/legal capacity to do so.
The contents of my book in your hands or if you prefer, the return on your investment provides you, examples containing the facts and circumstances of what terrible and disastrous acts were made possible by the Infirmities Of Aging.
Share this book with Mom/Dad and of equal importance, your siblings. This book is your reason/justification for broaching the much dreaded subject of what to do when end of life approaches.
Waiting to address this potential problem is risky business. Just as it is also risky business within your family to bring all this up, it could very well blow up in your face.
No doubt there will be those who in their mind, suspect you are just trying to gain control of Mom/Dad’s assets. I say, Never mind what is in their mind, go with what is in your heart.
(Additional incentive ahead in section 3, stay with me.)
Each and every one of these Infirmities Of Aging are well known and documented in Medical Journals and Criminal/Civil State statutes. I also list them in my Book.
I ask , with all this knowledge out there on the Infirmities Of Aging and the dying process that ends with death, why no plan for that downhill journey that ends at the Final Exit on life’s highway?
The simple answer is, when it comes to thinking about Mom/Dad dying, we do not want to go there and more than likely Mom/Dad do not either. There have been studies done on this failure to face how the story of life ends, which I cover in my book.
My book demonstrates why, like it or not, you have to go there. Ignoring the end of Mom/Dad’s life will not prevent it from happening. By avoiding and not preparing for that final period of life could be a disaster waiting…
You and your family could be lucky and I hope for and wish you all the luck in the world. However, In my best attempt at an Inspector Dirty Harry Callahan Voice impersonation ”You have got to ask yourself one question, do I feel lucky? , Well do you Boomer? ”
I have constructed my book into 4 sections. The subject of each section could in fact be a book in itself. Thus the word ”Digest” in the title.
In this Section , I address my professional standing to write this blog and my book.
I also explain why I choose to direct my message to you, the female Baby Boomer.
I then present exhibits (a synopsis of various criminal cases), the initial group of exhibits is all about “Grey Murders.”
While murder was the ultimate crime, I point out that the motive for these murders was in fact theft. The killing of these” Elderly Victims” was carried out in the elderly victim’s home, or their perceived safety zone from the real world.
Once I have shocked your sensibilities and set the tone, I then continue with exhibits that demonstrate the many methods of theft and the various relationships between the Elderly Victims and the perpetrators.
Such as dishonest Caregivers, Financial Advisers, Insurance Agents, Roofers ,Family Members just to name a few, the list in my book goes on as a matter of fact I list over 40 exhibits.
In these remaining exhibits the perpetrator/thief did not murder the elderly victims. However, what my experience has been not only did the elderly theft victims suffer a loss of wealth.
But also many were robbed of the trust/confidence and the ability to remain independent and live on their own.
That of course not only impacts them, but you the ”Daughter” as well.
Where do you think Mom/Dad are going to go? And who do you think will make that happen?
What about court ordered restitution you ask?
Think about it ladies, the perpetrator will be sentenced to prison for a period of time. Upon release they will enter the job market as not only a convicted criminal.
But more specifically a convicted thief, a thief that has demonstrated he/she has no soul, as they have stolen from the Elderly, societies most vulnerable members.
Ladies the type of work they will have to settle for will only pay minimum wage and it will take a very, very long time to repay Mom/Dad.
The ugly truth is, ” Time ” is something Mom/Dad does not have. They / you needed the money that was stolen to pay for their final years/months/weeks expenses.
FATE Victims and their Daughters can painfully define the term ”Chump Change ”for you and somewhere in their definition you will find the term ”Restitution actually received.” You see ladies ”restitution ordered” and ”restitution actually received” are two very different things.
”NOBODY CARES HOW MUCH YOU KNOW,
UNTIL THEY KNOW HOW MUCH YOU CARE…”
President Theodore Roosevelt
In this section I address the issue of end of life Care/Decision/Directions.
I write about/use My Personal Life Experiences as exhibits demonstrating my standing to write on this important issue.
It is my very personal ”After Action Review”that stresses the importance of having ”The Conversation” and the construction of a ”Final Exit Plan”
In this section I tie section one and two together and discuss the Government’s ” Final Exit Plan”.
It is called ”COURT APPOINTED GUARDIANSHIP” . It is this plan that is awaiting your Mom/Dad in the event that they and or you fail to act by planning the “Final Exit” in a timely manner.
If the information in the first two sections have not yet sold you on the wisdom of having “The Conversation”, and if you are still sitting on the fence.
I think when you get through reading about the Government’s Final Exit Plan That awaits those that fail to have a plan in place, you will be moved off the fence and over to visit your Mom/Dad. Hopefully, you will have my book in your hand.
I want to again point out the real important use of my book. That is it can be used an ice breaker. A conversation starter for that dreaded talk.
Remember this is not a fiction book. This book is about “real people”, “real crime”, and “real suffering” . I’m describing the “real world” that we all live in whether we like it or not.
My book gives you all the motivation / justification you need to go there ,To enter a place no wants to go and many only try to go after it is to late…
Ladies it has been my experience that when all the screaming, hollering and finger pointing is done, it is you, the daughter that manages the hands on care of Mom/Dad and it is also up to you to find a way to finance/fund that care.
You will do it because it is now pay back time, you will care for and support them, just as they looked out for you when you were in your most vulnerable time of your life .
You will step up to the plate and care for Mom/Dad, even though the process may very well put you closer to knocking on Death Door yourself. You will put in the time and resources.
You will do it just as all those Daughters before you have always done it;
Once again, ”You” are the gender that tenders…
Ladies, hold your fire. I’m a messenger giving you a timely heads up so you can be prepared. I’m not the rule maker.
The Sound Of Silence…
In this section I make the case for a call to action by the one demographic that can get the job done, to a Gender that has demonstrated throughout history what they are made of…
It is in this section that I use a couple 4 letter words to get your attention and make my point. Those 4 letter words being …
AARP AND MADD.
Both of these organizations were organized and founded by members of your gender. Ladies, think about this. both of these women accomplished these contributions to the betterment of life without the benefit of Facebook and Twitter.
The founder of AARP was 73 years old at the time; Proving It is never too late… I can tell you that fact sure inspires me.
Just think about what you can do, right this very moment while you sit at the keyboard of your computer.
That’s right I’m inviting/asking you to get involved by writing about the new 4 letter word on the block. That word being F.A.T.E.
Also write about the wisdom/need to have the “Conversation” followed by the establishment of a legally documented Final Exit Plan.
If you have trouble finding writing prompts, check out/use one of the links to hundreds of F.A.T.E. cases from, not only throughout the United States but from 23 countries that I have posted on this blog.
Pick one that is in your area or one that interests/motivates you to the point where you say ”I’m Mad as Hell and I’m not going to take it anymore”
Ladies, Help me raise F.A.T.E. awareness, you can Blog, Tweet and fire off E-Mails right from the comfort of your home, anytime day or night.
Check out my Blog post on Lake County Florida. This was my first attempt at raising a communities awareness of the targeting of the elderly for theft.
The situation in Lake County went from being an empty Court Room to where it was a filled to capacity with standing room only Court room. The results of one open Letter I wrote that reached a lot of good and decent people in Lake County.
Additionally, I ask you consider writing about the number one subject that is called into the Elderly Abuse Registries throughout the United States , that report being ”SELF-NEGLECT ” .
I’m of the belief that self-neglect is brought about by this biggest and by far the most dangerous thief the elderly have to fear. Which by the way is not a criminal . One more time, I’m talking about ”The Infirmities Of Aging”.
Ladies I’m here to tell you that elderly self-neglect is a really big deal.
Self – Neglect’s status is to Elder Abuse, what the Dead Canary is to the Coal Miner. And that is the good news. Again stay with me ladies and allow me to explain,
It is good news because this most reported status of Self-Neglect is the early warning alarm going off all across our nation as to what will soon, be coming to a home near you.
Let me make my biggest/strongest point. The conditions that cause /contribute to Self-Neglect are the very same Infirmities of Aging that
1.) Invite FATE into the life of Mom/Dad.
2.) Invite/demand the establishment of a Guardianship case. (The government’s version of a “Final Exit Plan.”)
Our nation’s Adult Protective Services investigators have been for a long, long, very long time been investigating/documenting elder self-neglect cases.
There is a ton of data contained in the Self-Neglect reports available to be mined/analyzed in the search for a manageable solution to what is coming down the road with all the power and momentum of a Baby Boomer propelled freight train.
In closing it is now full disclosure “time” for me. Ladies, I have pretty much guided you through this blog about my Book appealing to your concern for your elderly Mom/Dad’s safety and their end of life care Wishes / Direction / Instructions .
Well, I’m equally concerned for/about our generation of Baby Boomers’ . We too or at least many of the boomer generation have failed to plan for/handle/manage the time around the Final Exit for not only themselves but their soul mate as well.
I am not saying you are old. I’m saying now is the time for you and your soul mate to have the ”Conversation” and document a “Final Exit Plan” for the two of you. For all the same reasons I have documented making the case for Mom/Dad’s needs.
Do it now while your young and of sound mind and body. Ladies this is the voice of experience talking, it is only going to get harder as time passes.
Also think of this, by you and your soul mate acting now and having your own ”Conversation” and establishing your own ”Final Exit Plan” you are now in a triple positive position of demonstrating to your Mom/Dad that you are not asking/suggesting they do something, that you have not bothered to do for each other and by default have left to your children to handle.
You have in fact led by example…
I know this has been a long blog post, but when you are writing about the betterment of life, an investment of time is not only warranted, it is required.
Also this is the beauty, the gift of living in a free society with access to the internet. We can be as independent and as long winded as we care to be. So again join me and Write ,Blog, Tweet and Email.
My book will be completed and published soon. In the meantime please keep checking out my blogging efforts.
I would like to hear from you as time goes by and the blog takes shape.